Summer

You know the best I ever felt was the summer after I was fired. There was absolutely nothing moving. Nothing in my illusionary control. I was smart enough to have lined up a per diem job prior to getting fired. But there wasn’t much of a staffing need. Three months of no essential income. Putting out resumes and applications left and right locally. Pushing me to the point of not only considering travel assignments, but actually lining up all the necessary requirements to take off . Yet the world stood still. Holding its breath for me. And all I could do was live that summer, hanging out at the pool with my boys. Lounging on the porch in the evening time, reading, writing, life playing itself out in front of me as I watched the children change over that summer. Fate played its cards once more for me, as I actually waited to see which way the dice would fall. Actually waited. Unlike the first time I was fired from a significantly prosperous job, immediately jumping into action, pulling every rope I could reach for, getting right back into the hustle of business as usual. Landing myself somewhere that required exhausting long distance driving and exhausting assignments. Just not to loose my footing, still playing the game. Not that summer. That summer I relinquished myself. Into the not knowing. Into the may whatever come, come and show me. Show me how to be. So I managed to find further employment that suited my personal circumstances better, allowing me time for present moments that always escape me so easily. And as I’m getting pulled along in the stream of life, I do manage to lounge. Listen. Watch. Be still enough to trust the Grandmaster..hasn’t that always gotten me through?