hitting the wall

Growing up I always felt I had been released from a box that I had been kept in for a thousand years. I couldn't stand to be left alone. Wailing for attention. Naps were a no go. Sleeping at night was unpleasant, crying my way into someone else’s bed most nights. Hoping that would ward off not plain nightmares, but recurrent night terrors that kept haunting me even in daylight. Being deemed the tagalong by my older siblings, I lived in constant fear of missing out, unable to cope with being left behind. Restless; running; chasing. Striving to cram as much as I could in a days worth as I got older. Driving myself to the complete point of exhaustion more than once. Until I physically couldn't do it anymore. I finally hit the proverbial wall. And with that the realization set in..chasing things not meant for me made me miss out on everything given to me freely.