facing the fear of integrity

I never wanted to grow up. I was fighting that all my Life. Being grown up to me meant falling into the trappings of the Alltag ( everyday life). I remember as a little girl looking at adults not just confused, but with the puzzlement of living in such drudgery. My surroundings seemed so gray and blah. How do people do it? Getting up every day just to do the same things they don’t like over and over again.

Repetitious nightmare of misery. Pulling each other down into the drain of the daily grind. Yet I actually managed to fall into those same trappings I despised. Working myself to a near soulless shadow of my essence. Spending all my time doing things that literally sucked the life out of me. Mastering the skill of being a “productive” citizen. And then I grew up. I realized that being a grown up means to take full responsibility for one’s Life and every single choice made. Accepting the fact that one can fully sustain oneself not following the norm. To truly live as an adult is a daily walk in my own integrity. Not caving into what anyone else wants me to be or what roles others think I should play in their life. So cheers to living a full life as an adult with all its responsibilities and freedoms.