everything you ever wanted

I read that quote about a couple years ago. When I was in a place where I was doing everything based on others’ desires, wishes and demands. Knowing I had to break away from that life long habit, not knowing how to. Not being known for a timid nature, occasionally having been termed reckless by others, it took some soul searching to figure out my biggest fear. Death. My biggest fear was death. The ultimate point of no return. The infinite abyss. No making up, no second chances. None of that. And that fear spilled over into every living aspect of my life. Struggling to go with the natural circle of life. The impermanence of everything. The coming and going of people especially. Causing me to allow people into my life who had absolutely no place in it and paradoxically making me shut out others who belonged, not just by birth right, but by soul right. I wasn’t sure if I could face that fear. I did. People fell away as they should. Circle of Life. Nothing lost. Everything gained. Everything I gained was people who belong in my life to show (up) . As well as the appreciation of each and every one of them. Not counting time any more. Just how I feel in their presence, no matter how short lived.