pigsties, pitchforks and compost piles

When I was young-er, I always wanted to have THAT guy in my life. You’ve met him, I’m sure. The supportive guy whose girlfriend has some kind of dependency issue, or another type of needy-ness, i.e. hypochondria and such. When I would encounter that guy, being towed by his significant other, I would always wonder why good people tend to end up in relationship with someone who clearly had all sorts of issues. And a nasty attitude towards them to boot. But as I got to observe more relationships like that I realized that the true dysfunctional one is in reality the “good guy”. It seemed to me that the so-called healthy party of the relationship actually thrived on the dysfunction of the other party. Get it? Once you recognize it for what it is, you loose that desire to have THAT guy in your life. The unhealthy party in the equation is just who they are, living out their life with no regard to anyone but themselves. If it’s any dependency issue then you are just filling the role of enabler for them until you leave, and they will find someone else to fill that roll. But the enabler party of the equation…holy sauerkraut! The pleasure they must derive from keeping that devil’s circle going. As I’m still cleaning out my own pig sty, improving on any of my own behavioral patterns I no longer want in my life, I have come to want someone in my life who is equally responsible to handle his sh@t.