The pitfall of the exclusion factor

For the last couple odd years I have been learning to disassociate not only myself, but every person I encounter from the strict identification of roles.

Role-a set of connected behaviors, rights, obligations, beliefs, and norms as conceptualized by people in a social situation.

I am completely aware of the absolute necessity of performing in certain roles at certain times. To keep the structure of society functional. But it inevitably brings Eckhart Tolle’s quote to mind:

“And then there is the universal role of adult. When you play that role, you take yourself and life very seriously. Spontaneity, lightheartedness, and joy are not part of that role.”

Moreover, to me on the personal spectrum of experience, I have recognized that if I hold anyone just to the specific role I have mentally assigned to them, I completely lose out on the experience of their human-ness. And probably a lot of times missing out on the true reasons why we encounter each other. For example single people looking for someone to establish a relationship with, have a tendency to discontinue any kind of engagement with someone they have categorized in their mind as a potential mate. True appreciation of someone’s essence has nothing to do with the role the person defaults to in your life. It’s up to you to open yourself up enough to experience others as they have shown up in your life and not categorize them systematically into what you would like them to be. And if they don’t fit the role assigned by you, to be written of as non-essential to your growth.