Measuring up to my own frame of reference

I'm not quite sure how to define it. I haven't come up with anything better than the “Orphan Annie" effect. There's this trail of people in my life, past, present and most likely future, who interact with me in such a fashion that deems me "incompetent" to do for myself. A "she needs looking after" sort of attitude.

Which totally perplexes me. Yes, my choices at times can be viewed as reckless, nearing the verge of irresponsibility. But only from the point of view of the other people, based on the choices they would make for themselves in similar situations or conditions. Or period. Never mind the fact that I have managed to provide for myself ( and for many others), and continue to do so, for over a couple decades now.

Others lifestyle choices and decisions would literally choke out my little spirit. As much as my decisions would probably drive those same people to the brink of their sanity.

So I figured that there's two major influencing factors that play into this so called “Orphan Annie” effect.

One is the fact that people never do anything based on you. They do everything based on how they are and how they view their world, which would include how they see me. The other fact is that I will never be good enough for some people. I will never measure up to their so called standards. Which of course goes both ways. So will I allow that to be a problem for me?

The answer is no. The way I have accepted that a lot of other people do not come from the same operational mode as mine, having a different concept of ethics etc. than myself, that's the same way I am accepting that other people will choose to hold their opinion about me as they see fit.

reading suggestion- The four agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz http://www.miguelruiz.com