Limiting my unlimited version

I’m not really a rule person. I’m more of an all or nothing kind of person. Due to particular experiences in my life, these stances are slowly beginning to come into some sort of balance for me. As I am gradually leaning away from the all or nothing principle, not insisting on it being the all of something or the nothing of something, I am also very slowly incorporating some general rules in my encounters with other people.

One of the rules that has slowly inched its way very naturally into my discernment ( love that word, for what else is it but still judging), is the “three strikes you’re out” rule. And that's if you are in good standing. That is the criteria to even be allowed three strikes. At least in my book.

So as I continue to meet new people in my life, I have learned to allow myself to open up to people who show interest in me vs me showing interest in them. In the past, I persisted on making room for people in my life for as long as I had interest in them. The sort of all or nothing. Me being and giving the all, and they being and giving the nothing in return. My interest in them was enough to sustain that very lopsided ship ( you know, friendship, partnership, relationship). I have finally reached that point where it takes two oars (who’d have thunk) to keep any ship afloat that I am part of.

The rule part comes in with me allowing myself to open up more to people who show interest in me. If we are at a neutral stance, one strike, and I am good. That person better come up with a very human-ly excuse for me to give them one more chance and then they are struck out for good. I finally stopped to dilly dally in putting in a lot of effort, mainly my energy, in maintaining something that already shows zero potential. For I shouldn’t be looking at potential but what already shows out as the truth…get it?

The only people who get the three strike rule are the ones who already have some sort of bond with me. We have established mutual trust and respect. The lee-way for screw ups in that sort of scenario is just a tad longer, yet I learned that it’s for the best to have a preset limit for my tolerance allowance.