My personal Exorcism or don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining

I was possessed by untruths and false beliefs. Unbeknownst to me. It took the dawning of a life time to realize all the things that have held me back. I had to go through releasing all these unhealthy and unhelpful thoughts instilled in me before I was even aware of thoughts. The process of releasing was in steps. Over many years. I managed to exorcise many of my demons through relationship. Up close and personal friendships and intimate relationships. I have literally purged myself off things that were completely unhealthy to my being-ness. Purging to the point that it hurt physically at times, letting go of all this unnecessary garbage that is not required to living the purpose of my life.

The beliefs and thoughts stem from growing up surrounded by unawakened people who were selling me all these things that cause all of us suffering. Such as looking for other people and things to provide my happiness. Seeking approval from others to feel validated. Needing an intimate partner to be "whole". Blurring my boundary lines to such an extreme that people would be able to take complete advantage of me. There were many other demons who waltzed the dance of human suffering with me so intimately and eloquently that it felt like ripping pieces of me out of me as I exorcised them.

It's been a bitch. There is no other way to put it. So painful that at times it pushed me to the brink of my sanity. Yet I wouldn’t want to change it.

I am finally comfortable with who I am. I know what I want out of life. And it does not include any of the bullshit I rid myself off. Now that I am clear about myself, I have finally managed the art of drawing the line when it comes to my boundaries. I do not need anyone to push my buttons willfully or out of spite, just so they can attempt to get a reaction out of me and then use reverse psychology to tell me that I am the one who has a problem.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with responding in the appropriate manner of making someone aware that they have overstepped my boundaries. No matter how much they may seem to misconstrue my response. So when the alarm bells go off on my anger meter, that is just my Spirit alerting me that something has crossed my boundary. Something has invaded my space without invitation. I finally know how to assert myself and show who- or whatever has invaded my space, out the front door.

“The fiery intensity at the heart of anger asks neither for smothering nor mere discharge, but for a mindful embrace that does not require any dilution of passion, any lowering of the heat, nor any muting of the essential voice in the flames.” ― Robert Augustus Masters, Emotional Intimacy: A Comprehensive Guide for Connecting with the Power of Your Emotions