On how to keep it drama free or simply handling your sh$t

There’s been an accident. The text message came through near lunch time while I was at work.

Call me.

From my children’s father. There is no need for a plethora of words to communicate after decades of co-parenting four children among us. I immediately stopped what I was doing and dialed his number. My special one had a fall at school and cracked his head open. School administration wanted him checked out medically to ensure he didn’t require stitches. I made the appropriate phone calls after receiving the information and managed to get an immediate appointment at one of his pediatrician’s other locations vs carrying him to the emergency room. I called my children’s father back to instruct him on where to take our son and how to medicate him for the already eventful occasion that could potentially get only more exciting and overstimulating for him, if stitches were to be involved.

Then I proceeded into the break room where several co-workers were taking their lunch, and I stood there for a minute, quietly analyzing all potential choices and then opened my mouth and softly said:” I am going home now.” I’m not sure if it was the simple statement or how I presented it, but one co-worker cued in and asked me what happened. I plainly stated that I would have to meet my son at the doctor’s office since he had a fall and would potentially require stitches. I gave a quick hand off report so she would know what was currently happening in our work environment and that no one was being left stranded by my departure.

Another co-worker piped up and questioned me:” Do you have any compassion for your son?”

Blank stare coming from. My famous pause. My tongue lashes are feared but they are nothing compared to my moments of silence. The first co-worker spoke up and said:” Heike is very down to earth. Of course she is compassionate about her son.” I have twenty-seven years of child-rearing under my belt, almost 18 years of taking care of my special one. There is really no place for the luxury of “having a moment" and "losing your marbles or going hysterical” when it comes down to your children. Or many other situations in life. When someone you care for, someone you love, goes through anything unpleasant in life, and I leave the definition of unpleasant up to you here, you do not get to take that away from that person by behaving in such a way that all attention is drawn to you.

There is such a thing as people thriving on drama and then making it a point to be the martyr in the situation. The “look at me and everything I go through on behalf of someone else” people. May it be one’s child, one’s friend, one’s significant other or anyone else for that matter. How many of you have those people in your life? The ones you do not want showing up when something is going down with you because their inappropriate dramatics makes the situation about them and not about being there for you as the support they are supposed to be. I know all of you who have or have had those sort of people in your life know exactly what I am referring to here.

I didn’t see the need to explain this to my co-worker. That I would be absolutely useless, to my son first and foremost, if I choose to become emotional or dramatic or whatever she thought one was supposed to do when an accident happens. I choose to stay calm and available on whatever degree is required if I am that person chosen to help you through whatever unpleasantries you have to go through and I won’t allow anyone around me who can not give me the same support. Then I rather handle my shit on my own.