Tunes of Sorrow

There is a depth of connection one only knows through vibration. Now we all cluster and un-cluster towards or away from each other based on our individual vibrations, I am sure we are all aware of that. The “ I do/do not like the vibes” someone is giving off sort of thing. But there are only rare occasions where the vibrations someone sends off hold us spellbound for the briefest of moments where even if desired, one is unable to make a move or respond in any way.

It’s the vibration one sends out when they share the most painful of their experience(s). Now there are many of them. Physical injuries, emotional trauma caused by relationships, other irreversible losses. And though haunting and very relatable, there is one experience that will reverberate in everyones heart string.

It’s when through no fault of your own, yet abetted by you, something detrimental happened to someone else. As in, without your existence or presence, the subsequent events would not have happened the way they did. The most famous example of that sort of thing is the medic who saved Hitler’s life on the battlefield of WWI. That is an extreme outcome of such a thing taking its course. But I am fairly certain that it happens to many more of us than we could possibly be aware of, just on a much smaller, personal scale. Even on a much more smaller impact, it is more so insufferable to live with when the affected person is a loved one.

I carry that tune deep within the strings of my heart. I do not pull on that string. It is finer than a hair on a frog’s leg and the slightest tug could cause it to break. The event involves the circumstances of my son’s birth and though it was completely out of my hands, it could have never happened without my existence. Initially so completely traumatized by it, I couldn’t even talk about it without uncontrollably crying the first almost three years after his birth. Then other feelings took over, and the string attached to the event got entombed, barricaded, buried and surrounded by other strings taking over to make up for its frailty. And I moved on. Living wholeheartedly every day, absorbing the absolute joy his life brings to this world.

There have been only two occasions where in conversation this string was almost excavated. I have trained myself to stop any intrusions on this string within a certain distance of anything coming at it. I divert, distract and disengage. But those two times, the listener was able to follow the tunes of sorrow to the near core of its existence. Coming within reach of this string. The next closest string to it bouncing its own sound off it, causing this string to reverberate and sing its song ever so softly, knowing that if it would belt out its tune in its fullest depth it would burst. And as soon as the vibration of this string echoed out, the listener held their breath. As if the world stopped. The reverberation of the tune causing the listener to hear their own strings playing to the core of their being. Remembering their own tunes of sorrow.

https://youtu.be/miLV0o4AhE4