Fear of Living

There’s Carrot. A beautiful orange tabby roaming the apartment complex. You can tell that she must have had a human before. I know she’s fixed because there’s no tomcat fights going on about her. She comes and goes at leisure. She seeks shelter from the rain and the sun on my porch. She has brought squirrel and frog for lunch. While still consuming any food I put out for her. She “knocks” on my door by scratching on it to get my attention. She lays on the stoop of the sliding door and looks at the boy cats currently residing in my apartment like people looking at animals at the zoo. She follows me when I walk outside yet she won’t let me pick her up. I also know that she has multiple people feeding her at the complex. She’s living the good life.

There’s some people who would like to get a hold of her and make her an indoor cat. But she won’t let them. She rather prefers to traverse anywhere she pleases. She’s come to mind because there’s been such a wave of fearful expressions coming at me (again). I am changing job roles, still with the same employer, and people seem to be rather fearful if I will succeed. It’s not a matter of succeeding to me. It’s a matter of that this change will hopefully help me transition to other goals I have in mind. Which I obviously won’t accomplish unless I make a move. You can not get different results about anything in life if you keep doing the same thing, the same action, the same response, the same thought process. I’m sure you get it.

So here’s the thing. I can count on one hand the people who have actually encouraged me to do something in life. Anything. The “ go for it” reception of my shared ideas or plans. Whereas there have been countless people who responded with the so common “ I can’t believe you are doing this ( or plan on doing). Overwhelmed with their own fears about life and therefore expressing their point of view on life. I know we all have different things we are afraid of. And I am not talking about things like fear of heights or spiders. Even though that can also be something to be overcome. I am talking about the fear of living. Being alive. People constantly make choices that have

some sort of “guarantee “ attached to it. I can guaran-damn-tee you that you will die regardless of what safe choices you will make throughout your life. And so will anybody you love.

I can only encourage you to make those choices that make your heart sing and bring you to live. Whatever that may be. Exploring other countries and cultures by going abroad for more than a vacation. Spending the time it takes to do the things that remind you that you are alive vs just spending time to make a living. Fall in love with people who may never fall in love with you so you can learn how to fall in love with yourself. Be a Carrot. You will learn how to provide for yourself in such a way that brings you joy and people will still love you just the way you are.