Excuses, promises and explanations..or how to do you

It seems not so long ago, that any time I used a sick day at work, whoever would answer my call to inform them that I wouldn’t be coming in to work, would demand to know the reasons why I had the gall not to report to my assigned shift. Prodding into personal and other business and upon returning back to work, either getting the “ I’m glad you’re doing better” from some or the auspicious look from others who quite didn’t buy whatever excuse I gave for not coming in to work. Even though I am sure it was just as illegal then as it is now by labor law, something happened in my work environments where the questioning stopped. Some employers even established call-in lines where a neutral phone operator, who does not know the employees personally, answers the sick calls coming in, and then simply reports the absence to the affected department.

Eliminating some of the awkward involved. Of course there are plenty of people who either still put their nose in personal business at work or openly disclose all their personal business for whatever reasons they choose.

Here is what I have taken away from not having to give an explanation for my absence at work. I no longer explain myself to others. Yes, there are still times that I actually want people to understand the basis of where I come from. But for the most part I leave explanations alone. I even have had encounters where upon someone making demands for an explanation from me, my reply was: “ Would you like the real deal or would you like a bullshit version of it?” So nowadays I try to stick to the short version. Yes, I can or no I can not. Yes, I am able to or no I am not able to. No longer justifying rhymes and reasons to people. I shouldn’t have to provide anyone with an excuse for not wanting to or being able to do or be something they expect of me, that I didn’t agree on. The same goes for promises. I shouldn’t have to provide anyone with a promise to do or be something in the [non-existing] future they will expect of me, that I won’t agree on.

Anyone who insists on putting their expectations on me, desiring for me to be or do something that I myself do not desire for myself, is still stuck in a world where getting their way at the expense of others is more important to them than being able to accept that we all have the right to free will. Making choices we desire without having to defend who we are.