Elbow room

Here she was, exactly where she never thought she would be. What happened that her life had derailed into the opposite direction of her plans. Where had she gone wrong? She grew up in such a depressive home that she learned to abhor anything that even closely resembled her parents' relationship. There was no way that she would end up like them. By the time she entered middle school, she started to explore ways to become independent. She never wanted to be in the position to have to rely on anyone to survive. She spent her time studying instead of hanging out like other girls in her class. Soon she was looked upon as a geek, but she didn't care. She could forecast the future of the other girls she was growing up with, and she wanted no part of it. She didn't even feel sorry for them and their predictable life, the way they felt sorry for her for not having a social life. After high school she went off to a college several states away. She even studied a couple of semesters abroad. She excelled as a student, graduating with honors, which landed her a prestigious job straight out of college. She was on her way of living the life she had always wanted for herself. And just as she had envisioned it in her mind, the majority of girls she grew up with had chosen menial jobs after high school, and most had married before they had given themselves the chance to figure out what they truly wanted out of life. She felt quite accomplished. She was so removed from her childhood that she didn't bother to attend her ten year high school reunion to show off her success. She wasn't the type as to be so haughty. She had become near estranged from her parents, barely keeping in touch with them at all. She was unable to feel close to someone whom she secretly judged as failures. She knew her parents were disappointed for not sharing her successful life with them, but she didn't feel that they contributed to her success in a supportive manner. Only her own obsession to avoid the life of her parents drove her to succeed. Then the day came when she met him. She couldn't fathom that it would land her in the predicament she was in now. She called herself casually dating him. He was the right candidate for her, meeting all the criteria she was looking for in a mate. Then little by little, things shifted into a steady relationship, with him moving into her place. Her social engagements became more and more limited. Her small circle of friends all but vanished. When her lease came up for renewal, he pushed to have his name added to it. When she went on business trips, he blew up her phone non-stop. Initially she was enamored with his display of concern for her well-being, but it slowly and insidiously suffocated her independence. Her job performance began to suffer. She herself recognised that, even before her boss pulled her to the side to ask if everything was alright. The perfect match appeared to have turned into her worst nightmare come true. He seemed to be in control of her every move. She couldn't even explain it to herself how she duplicated the exact thing she had escaped from all her life. It had to come to an end if she wanted to live the life she had worked so hard for. So here she was, calling it quits with him. He didn't take the news lightly. He was infuriated. He spoke to her in a degrading manner, and since she didn't budge, ended up yelling and cursing at her. She was actually mad at herself for allowing him to take over her life in the way he did. For a split second she saw herself as the little girl peeking down the top of the stairs in her parents' house as she was secretly witnessing yet another argument in their loveless marriage. She couldn't understand why they never divorced and chose to be miserable with each other instead. She could understand even less that she ended up with the same sort of controlling man her father was, leading to the same manipulative relationship she never wanted to be in. Thinking about her parents gave her enough backbone to stand her ground. She didn't have to run from anything, he had to go. It was that simple. Seeing that he had lost the upper hand, he finally conceded. Even though he cursed her the whole time he was packing his things, he left that night. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~• a beautiful milieu Photo Leonardo Pucci https://www.instagram.com/leonardopucci/