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I smelled the trace of a masculine scented perfume and faintly heard the bark of a small dog, just as I slid open the rickety screen door and the cat jumped gracefully onto the small porch. It stopped as soon as it landed on its feet, turning its head towards me to let out a very low pitched dissatisfied purr. I shrugged my shoulders. I knew what it meant. The cat turned completely and lazily returned back to the inside, getting comfortable in the same sun-soaked spot it had just abandoned. Again, I understood. The cat prefers to venture out when the chances of getting disturbed are at its minimum. I turned towards the small kitchenette despite the pressure in my bladder trying to signal me into a different direction. To this day, my mind still likes to control the sequences of actions, to direct the order of events. The “I could be doing this while waiting on such and such”. You know exactly what I mean. We either all do it or have someone in our life do it, impacting us with their incessant “efficiency”. I ignored my bladder and tended to a couple of other things that I wanted to get done. The suppression of my body’s signals has molded me to adapt to environments that I find to be insufferable for my wellbeing. Again, you know exactly what I mean, because we all do it. It doesn’t make any sense to me, yet I have not managed to completely excavate myself from those conditions. Thankfully, I am continually removing myself more and more from anyone and anything that drains me and I am slowly releasing everything that does not serve my highest expression. I definitely identify with and see myself in everyone who remains encapsulated in the “no choice syndrome.” When we are unable to open up to other choices, and their consequences, in our life. When we are still hung up on how life is supposed to go down instead of recognizing that we are not living at peace with ourselves. I consider myself fortunate enough to be able to create enough distance and space from a society that is founded on so many things I wholeheartedly disagree with yet has allowed me to figure out how to live on my terms as I am inextricably part of it. ~•~ a beautiful milieu